Forever Endeavor

Waiting to Start Living

2008-05-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

I want the future
I exist in the present
yet I project my mind on to what is to come
waiting for the moment when I can be in the now, more often than not
In time the now will manifest in various ways at various times
becoming more frequent
until it happens often enough that my moments of lack
are few and far between
Until then I must stop waiting

My Allegory

2008-04-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

In my mind I have often wondered who I am
Through a myriad of angles I piece together my allegory
Just as I have it fit,
some new equation
some pontification comes in
and I am inclined to start again
Seeking perfection,
the perfect union of I and myself
But I never change
I the observer
I the witness
This life is merely a vehicle
A wild horse to be tamed
A Lucid experiment on reality
Dreams manifest expectations
For the two are one
Under the sun
Where the phoenix rises
As many times as seen fit

Vein

2008-02-02T00:29:00.000-08:00

I wish I knew where I was headed
I try to follow my thoughts intended brain in tangles toiled and fretted
By what is true and what's pretended
When will my soul be mended
my heart un-leaded
My time is lent
My money spent
And I'm indebted
to my own intentions

Floating

2008-02-02T00:10:00.000-08:00

holding to the motion
feeling with desire I will be
swimming in the ocean
looking at the stars
reflect my infinite devotion
to Jupiter and Mars
and every thing that is just a notion
to me it is on fire
My home, my pyre
Far on the horizon
Fading

Deleted

2008-01-06T04:02:00.000-08:00

delete is a powerful thing
in the new world of digits it brings
instant destruction
of scribbled constructions
no longer a chance to stream
consciousness ripped at the seams
with backspace delete
no chance to repeat
goodbye to the wastebasket dreams

Presumptions

2007-12-28T16:25:00.001-08:00

Lost to far in my head to fathom
Somewhere between a ditch and a chasm
Digging up playthings and putting them down
Order them up from the underground
and exercise the presumptions

The words of black and red
The sinner out of my head
The crusty flesh is bread
The wine is better in bed

A daydream snatched into the dark of night
What once was natural expelled from light
Instinct plus enlightenment the devil strikes
Hide your desire
Or be lured you to the fire
Pray to the spire
The Devil's a liar
Gods empire
will save you
I mean enslave you
I mean uh, praise you
You found the answer in Christ
all your lusty thoughts could never suffice
against the power of almighty poltergeist
I mean the son of god
The lamb for the slaughter
Is never good enough for the lamb of the fodder
I mean the father, shit, why can't I get this right
Inexorably driven by my appetite
If it feels good, it's right
Good night

Myism rules

2007-12-27T01:21:00.000-08:00

Most people are elitists
For the ones who claim they aren't, that's just an opinion
(or a deception)

Elitism is the idea that you and "your people" know best, are best
Or maybe it's just you.
Whether you label yourself an elitist or hang the name on "others", you are an elitist.
no one is one with humankind, reptilekind, Plantkind, nothingkind just one.
we are all just beings.
surviving
fighting for time and space
you can convince yourself otherwise
Pray, meditate all you want
Ultimately, if you think you are not an elitist, and other people are. . .
You are in effect putting yourself above them
Or beside them, away from them
It is human nature to segregate (especially when times get tough)
but whatever you're opinion
consider your ethics before you spout your elitism
Or consider your elitism before you spout your ethics
HUBRIS KILLS

Bored

2007-12-26T02:46:00.000-08:00

Living in a box is boring
Sometimes I'd rather be out whoring
But that's why I'm here
Trapped by the fear
It's darkness the light is abhorring
Half full or empty and pouring
Like shedding a tear
Or drinking a beer
I'd rather be digging than soaring

Life yields myth for enduring
Life on the edge is alluring
Time wasted is lost
Lost in singular thought
With a fork to demand
And a pat for a friend
It's a game
Already lost

The Destination

2007-12-21T22:29:00.000-08:00

Random mind seeks random time
Posted and delivered
Slipping through a portal
I'm here near a river
and trees to the sky
where I'll be destined to fly
if I can just keep my feet walking
stop thinking and start talking
stop roaming and start shopping
find a door and start knocking
and quit my balking

Moving, Colliding

2007-10-16T23:16:00.000-07:00

People, random glances
Potential circumstances
First and second chances
From here to Kansas
destined to lead
destined to follow
we all are hollow
and one
under the sun
have fun
don't try to run
unless you're being chased
make sure your shoes are laced
and your pulse is paced
you never know a face
until it turns on you
and yearns for you
to fulfill it's fate
just in time for too late
so don't wait
it could be too late
unless it is fate
then to fall
is destiny
or denial
of your own self defeat
or your dream to succeed
either way if you bleed
It had better be worth it
so before you converse it's
a good idea
to check your laces

Cynical Pontification

2007-09-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

I recently looked up a word that has been floating around in my brain for years and I never quite knew the definition of. As a studied non college graduate I must fill in the holes of my random self education whenever the chance presents itself. The word in question - pontification. The two definitions are 1, to speak about the laws of the Christian church, ie the duties of a pontiff, a bishop or pope which are to dictate the dogma of the catholic church. - and 2, the act of being Pompously dogmatic or self-important.
This definition reminded me of the two definitions of the word cynic ok 3, but mainly 1 and 2.

1. A member of a sect of ancient Greek philosophers who believed virtue to be the only good and self-control to be the only means of achieving virtue.
2. A person whose outlook is scornfully and often habitually negative.
3. A person who believes all people are motivated by selfishness.

From the original Cynic philosopher to the modern day scornful and habitually negative joe (or joanne). The Greek Cynic (who scorned anyone who didn't live a virtuous lifestyle) seems to have evolved to the modern day unbeliever because ultimately one who tries to live by virtue and self control only grows bitter and disappointed.

So. . . the common use of the word "pontificate" is to speak with a self important and pompous nature but originally was the "respected" word of the church.

Hmmm

Cynical Pontification

ethos

2007-08-31T05:06:00.000-07:00

Ramble on Babylon mumbo jumbo
a million trillion
the web is rotundo
connections on waves make a hell of a gumbo
take the ingredients you got
put em in a pot
too many spices
make your stomach rot
use only what you need
the thoughts to acquire
the tools are the vehicle
to rot or aspire
to an ultimate end
so you'd better defend
and don't pretend
to care
opinions are like air
the truth doesn't dissipate
screw the magistrate
whoever that is
the man
of the hour
the one with the power
one hand in your pocket in the other
a flower
stop playin your piano and listen
There's something in the ethos that's missin
the sounds of people on a mission
the machine is too efficient
becoming more omniscient
while the crowds are all on line
Or stuck in line
cued up
While the cameras are aligned
outside your window